can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
