I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
