Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
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