i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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