with your own penis?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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