like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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