i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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