also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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