exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
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I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
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I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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