i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
In America we eat man semen.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
