Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
