Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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