Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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