she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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