either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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