I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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