Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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