I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
