okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
