I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
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I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
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Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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