he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
