We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
