i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
