I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
The best revenge is premature balding
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just blew my weed a kiss
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize