I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
