'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
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