Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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