Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
