dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
