Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
