I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
