You can't motorboat a personality
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
