so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
