why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
