I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
