This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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