I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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