I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
