also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
