Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
