Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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