LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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