i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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