As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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