Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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