I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
