Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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