Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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