Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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