dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I party with great urgency now.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
