i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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