All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
