he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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