well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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