Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
What drink are we having for lunch?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
