Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
