I molested 6 butterflies tonight
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
