Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
