sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
why is half of my head shaved?
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