Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
