Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
