Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
barbara walters just said penis...
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
