This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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