Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
