Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
