scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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