But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
