I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
