THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
